I have been struggling with this concept for a while lately. There have been so much text and conversation around the issue of being “normal” doesn’t change the world. That doing things that are against the grain will create a shift that will help others to discover more about themselves than your intent to deeper levels of yourself.
I have always been an outsider in more ways than five, and for the first 3/4 of my life, I let it effect, so much so that I’m in the unlearning process which doesn’t come easy. I am following a “predictable” path, and yet I am not happy at all. Is it because I feel that I’m “crazy”? Perhaps. There is so much in me that confuses others when it comes out. There is so much passion in me that wants to change the world but not by “normal” standards. So instead, I asked myself, what if “crazy” were normal?
I have always acted outside of life’s constraints, and did what I wanted to do with the risk of being called all kinds of names from friends and family, and have experiences the depths of loneliness that I’ve only seen written by my “crazy” counterparts.
Cee-lo said it perfectly when he wrote a whole song about being “crazy”. It’s okay for artists to be “crazy” perhaps, but for someone who was born an artist and has evolved into whatever it is I am now, I can see that I’ve lost that essence of who I truly am.
“I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that place.
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much space”
The gift of being “crazy” is that you learn so much about yourself, learn the lessons, if you get through the dark period. I’ve been struggling with the notion of with more wisdom comes sorrow, and I was trying to figure out how to stop learning…I have no idea how to do that part unfortunately, or perhaps it’s a fortunate thing and I do not give myself enough credit.
But if “crazy” were normal, I would find something else to not fit in, because I’d rather live (in pain) than just merely exist (blindly).